Ian's ThanksgivingBy Eric MarcarelliThis story's narrator is based off a real person. His name has not been changed to protect the innocent. "So Ian, what are you thankful for this year?" Ah, the dreaded moment. The only black spot on an otherwise perfect day. Best deflect with some humor. "I couldn’t be more thankful for these potatoes!" I replied. "Thank goodness the ‘ol team pulled through in this year’s game," added Uncle Bob. My mother wouldn’t let that one by. "Not more of this football talk…" she said in her bothersome way. "What is Thanksgiving for if not for football?" replied Uncle Bob, somewhat annoyed, but still feigning a grin. "Giving thanks for all the year’s blessings," she said quickly. Almost too quickly. "Such as?" I interjected. "Well…" A spoon fell and cracked the corner of a 73 year old plate. My cousin Alex carefully moved the wreckage off the table, hoping dearly that no one noticed. I refocused Mom’s attention. "Hm?" "Well, how about this great meal we all love! And the great family we have gathered here!" "What about all the people who choked to death or got food poisoning today? I bet they aren’t counting their blessing of food," I said in my best sarcastic voice. "Why do you have to be so cynical?" she continued, "look at what the Pilgrims suffered through to get their Thanksgiving feast…" "The Puritans would be aghast at what be call Thanksgiving. To them a Thanksgiving was a solemn time devoted to pray and fasting," I pushed the plate away with a wave of mock devotion. My mother stared at me with a look that could only be otherwise achieved by kicking a puppy. "Well it’s true," I insisted, "what popular mythology holds up as the first Thanksgiving was actually a harvest festival." "And they invited their Indian neighbors in an act of friendship and kindness which the world could learn from today," she said. "Actually, there’s a strong theory that holds the Indians just showed up. But when there’s ninety armed warriors what are you going to do? They ate the Puritans out of house and home. Of course, that wasn’t hard considering the communal system they used in the early years of the colony," I said, quieting the entire table. It was too quiet. "The only reason later generations adopted Thanksgiving at all was as an excuse to eat all their Christmas favorites without having to celebrate the pagan holiday of Christmas," I said. "So you’re saying it’s always been about food?" asked Uncle Bob. "That’s right. But Americans will never admit that – they need a morally superior reason to pig out," I replied. And then more silence. My mother glanced over to me. "You’re sitting at the kid's table next year," she said. |